I went out for dinner with two classmates of mine yesterday and we had such a good time that it got me thinking. Why was it so much better than other types of meetups? For instance, I’ve been to a bunch of book clubs before, and most of them weren’t as fun! (Shax, if you’re reading this, yours was amazing!!! :))
I thought about it for a while and then remembered the concept of ‘third spaces’ that I learned about in undgrad sociology. This third space refers to socializing outside the home (first place) and workplace (second place). And the key here is that third spaces have a playful atmosphere without any rules. It’s a home away from home, focusing mainly on chatting and catching up. Importantly, you don’t have any obligations to join. So, my friends would have met up anyway, even if I wasn’t up to it. And that takes so much pressure off. For example, in most book clubs I’ve attended, everyone judges you if you miss a session or don’t finish the book. That is NOT a third space.
I’m not sure how many of these third spaces exist nowadays, as community life is taking a bit of a hit. But I focus on the fact that right now, they do exist, and we all have more than a few in our lives. 🙂Â